Don't hold yourself hostage

After my Gung Fu class last night, I took off my socks and changed into my flip flops. My Sifu said, "That's a pair of nice flip flops!." Instead of saying thank you, I said, "Yeah, I just don't want to look dorky to wear my work shoes with my Gung Fu outfit after class."

A Gung Fu brother, R, heard it and said this to me, "Y, don't hold yourself hostage to what others think about you, only you know who you really are."

I was just stunned by his sincerity when he said it.

When Sifu walked me to my car, I told him I always know I'm a very self-conscious person. And because of that, I can't dance freely on the dance floor as I am constantly thinking about that others may think I dance awkwardly.

Or when I was doing rock-climbing, instead of concentrating on my next move, I thought about if others were looking at my big butt. On the other hand, I know my friends are all willing to help me improving my skill and nobody is going to judge me.

I know, now when I'm writing it down, I see how ridiculous it seems.

Sifu said he used to be as self-conscious as I am too, but he told himself, "Yeah, I might dance like a monkey on the dance floor and others may dance better than I do. But so what? Other people may have learned dancing for a long time. Who cares what they think about me? As long as I know who I am, I'm going to dance anyway."

Perhaps now that I start acknowledging my excessive self-consciousness, I'll do something to tackle my insecurities.


Christen said...

i just want to let you know that you don't have a big butt! hehe

yync said...

Haha, thanks a lot! I remembered we had this conversation before at the Old Navy while we were trying to get the bermuda pants. Don't know if you still remember...:)