Just want to share this comic here. This is pretty much what a lot of us are experiencing right now but don't have the guts to admit it. Thanks CK for the link!
You'd better shape up
Something you can fall back on- mulch or insurance?
An insurance company likes having the actuaries and finance folks to volunteer at the local parks. Particularly mulching at the children's playground.
Each time after completing the mulching work, the CFO would put up a sign, right next to the swings. Then pictures would be taken for the company's marketing campaign. The sign was written as, "Our mulching is as good as our products, both are safe enough for you and your children to fall back on."
(The above story was partially fictional, but I thought it would be a good commercial ad for any insurance companies. It's two birds in one stone- building good reputation around the community for the volunteering and a good tagline.:))
I walk, therefore I am
My company has a running/walking challenge. People within the company can form their own teams to log in how many miles they've walked or ran during this month. I don't really run, I signed up because of the cool t-shirt.
And guess what the actuaries named their team? The calorie reserve team.
What about the team captain? The actuarial pedestrian. :)
Your DAC
At a conference call with some actuaries and financial analysts:
Financial Analyst: My DAC is too small. And I'm not happy with it
Actuary A: Excuse me, your what is too small? I can't hear you!
Actuary B: I think you may need to call some helpline or counseling service, we can't help you with that. And it's not that appropriate to discuss such private matter in a conference call, don't you think?
DAC (pronounced as "Dack") means Deferrable Acquisition Costs. It's a common daily GAAP term in our work. In FAS 60, the acquisition costs vary with and are primarily related to the acquisiton of new and renewal insurance contracts, e.g. commissions, issue costs and underwriting costs.
Sometimes if you don't say the word clearly, other people may think you are saying another word which means a human body part.
Employee Appreciation
Boss A: Thank you for everybody's hard work during the year end. Y'all are going to have an extra day off this year.
Crowd: Hurray!!! (Clapping and cheers)
Boss B: Oh, some restrictions apply- you can take the time off only on the weekends. See your managers for details.
That's why we have something called Hobblies
Think outside the bun- eat more taco bell
Think outside the box- don't try it in your cube
Can't get a date?
Co-worker A: I'm going to sign up for a professional match-making service online.
Co-worker B: Oh yeah, how does that it work? You sign up and they arrange a date for you?
Co-worker A: Yes, that's pretty much it. Can't trust the online-dating site, need to do it the old-fashioned way.
Co-worker B: How much are they charging? Do they charge you per date that is arranged?
Co-worker A: That's something I need to find out.
Co-worker B: Let say you are running out of your dating budget this year, are you going to say to your date, "I'm running out of money to date, and you are my last date from the match-maker. I guess you are THE ONE, and I'm going to settle."?
A song you should listen when you feel discouraged when studying
Beat it - Michael Jackson
Here's a song for those of us who feel frustrating while reading that 2600+ pages exam material.
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
.....
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
A song for those who didn't pass the exam this time
You are not alone- Michael Jackson
My friend Socrates suggested this song to all the actuarial students (including yours truly) who didn't pass the exam in the May sitting.
You are not alone. ;)
Lifestyle Adjustments
As our financial reporting work is switching from quarterly to monthly routine, there are several adjustments me and my fellow co-workers need to make to our lifestyles.
"Honey, I don't think it's a good idea if the baby is born during the first two months of the year. You know, I need to make sure I finish the annual filing on time."
"Ok, try not to plan our vacation to Hawaii on the first week or the last week of the month, ok? My team expects me to be there to do the monthly reporting."
"Let's make plans for dinner and a drink afterward. Don't plan it too late because the admin data downloads will be coming in at midnight and I need to kick start some runs."
"I can't go to the outlet mall with you because I need to start mentally preparing for the quarterly work starting next week."
Three Places you want to visit
Towards the end of a house-warming party, about 10 of us from my department were having a group Q&A session. Here's how it works- someone asks a question and then we all take term to share our answer.
It reminds me of the campfire talk while everyone tried to open up to share their feelings etc. Dwight talked about his top 3 criteria to select a mate, while another girl shared her most embarrassing moment...
Co-worker A: Tell us 3 places that you have to visit.
Co-worker B: I have to visit an small island with beaches because I like the sun, Thailand for the food and New Zealand.
Co-worker C: Building 1, Building 3 and Building 4.
(Note: My company has 4 buildings on campus and my department is located in building 2)
On Self Defense
Big Boss was trying to teach a female co-worker self-defense in the narrow hallway between cubicles one day.
Big Boss: Ok, now if I grab your collar, what would you do?
When I was pondering what I would do with my rusty Wing Chun background, I thought, "Ok, is it too much when the first thing I thought is to poke his eyes? I mean, that's ABSOLUTELY going to work.....Wait, or maybe I can step on his toes like stepping on a cigarette butt and then run away....."
Actually what I heard from my co-worker was this and it really amazed me.
Female co-worker: Errr.....I guess I'd take my shirt off.
Cuddling with a Panda?
I have a weird sense of humor. Sometimes reading news like this just made me laugh.
Apparently there's a guy who jumped over the fence in a zoo and tried cuddle with a panda because the panda is too cute.
According to the news, "Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. "I didn't expect he would attack."
Polar Bears and Grizzly Bears are quite cute too. Wanna hug them, anyone?
Passing....definitely not an exam
We are on our way to our Exam Passing lunch at noon.
Boss Cartman asked Co-worker A: You want to join us for lunch? Did you pass anything?
Co-worker A: No, thanks. You don't want to know what I just passed. (smiled dirtily)
Why are we still working
Co-worker A: If our company stock price keeps going down tomorrow, I'm going to buy some more.
Me: You are the ultimate investor! While other people are panicky about the stock market, we are talking about buying more shares here.
Co-worker B: That's why we are still working... :)
On Arranged Marriage
S: Are you going to have an arranged Chinese marriage?
Me: Yes, I am. How do you know that?
S: I didn't know actually. That thought occurred to me yesterday.
Me: In fact, I got my engagement ring in the mail today and I need to go to the UPS to pick it up before they send it back to the sender, aka my future husband!
S: Stop it. Serious?
Me: Yes, I'm seriously joking.
This was the conversation me and S had through email today. It's just silly and funny that I need to post it here. :)
It's official
Co-worker A: I friended you on Facebook last night.
Co-worker B: I've always thought we are friends. But now that you added me on Facebook, I think that makes our friendship official.
Who's expecting the first child?
I saw this on some executive's biography the other day. (Names changed to protect the innocent)
Peter lives in City A with his wife, Mary, and two boxers, Mayo and Mustard. They are expecting their first child in October.
So who's expecting the child? The boxers or the boxers' owners?
If we don't clarify on this, what are we going to get for the baby's shower? Really, we narrow down to two choices of stores- PETCO or Baby "R" Us.
Question to a Perpetual Exam-taker
Q: I don't understand why people decided not to be an actuary after they finished taking all the exams...
A: You really want to know why and let me tell you this, the best hidden secret- people take the actuarial exams so that they can defer getting a life or getting in shape (don't confuse with getting a deferred life annuity).
Think about it, what a good excuse when you can tell people,"I've been taking the actuarial exams all these years and that's why I'm single/over-weight/not a home-owner etc." In fact, I think they should have set up more exams to be an actuary.
I know it sounds cliche- it's really about the journey, not the destination! Now that I'm' going to finish my actuarial exams (both SOA and CAS ones) soon, I need to start looking into taking CFA exams, CPA exams or part-time MBA classes now...
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