I lost a friend

We've known each other for almost two years.
We've been talking to each other on the phone almost every day.
We shared our life stories.
We shared laughter and we shared not-so-happy moments together.

I thought you'd be my friends for a long, long time.

You talked about your work life,
I listened.
You talked about your love life,
I listened.
You talked about your past,
I also listened.

I know being a friend also means being a listener .
So I listened to you quietly and attentively.
In fact, I really enjoyed our conversation-
I understand the world more from a different perspective through your experience.

Two days ago, I told you that I felt upset/angry about a comment you made that afternoon.
You said, "That's fine, please do not contact me anymore."

I thought you were joking.

I called you again yesterday to see if you would still like to talk.
I thought it's not a big deal after all.
You sent me an email with this,
"I prefer not to keep in touch. Please delete everything about me in your system."

What is this?
Can anyone tell me what this is?
What does a two-year friendship worth?

That's it, end of conversation, end of friendship.
If expressing my true feeling kills this friendship,
then this friendship is really fragile.

To me, you are always my friend and my mentor in life for the last two years.
I know you will not contact me anymore.
I know you've done this to your friends before,
I know you are darn serious about it.
And I know you will keep your words.

I wish you all the best.
I wish all of your dreams will come true.
And now, I can accept the fact,
I really lost a friend.

6 comments:

sc12een said...

"...this friendship is really fragile."

Hmm...was it really a friendship at all?

Anonymous said...

Hi Yukki,

I am an actuarial student graduating in May, and I visit your blog every-so-often to see what is going on. I enjoy your insight into the many subjects you address. Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on passing Exam M; it is wonderful news. However, I was prompted to respond here after reading your last post.

I am at a point where friendships have become an integral part of my life and an important support network, in addition to my family. I was very upset to read your post but commend you for speaking your mind and standing your ground. You are an independent thinker and should be admired for that. And I won't resort to cliches and say, "Oh, don't worry about it, everything will work out." This is understandably an upsetting experience, and I instead wish you the best in times to come.

Regards,
Matt

yync said...

Hi Matt,

Thanks for your encouragements! I do feel better now after writing everything down here. And I'm happy to see some of my friends called me up to see if I'm all right. (A friend in need is a friend indeed right? I know, it sounds cheesy but it is very true ;))

So what are you planning to do after graduating? What field are you planning to work for- Life/ Health/ P&C/ consulting?

Thanks for reading once again.

Yukki

Anonymous said...

Hi Yukki,

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about the whole thing. I've got a job lined up in insurance. It should be exciting!

Thanks for writing.

-Matt

Anonymous said...

Hi Yukki,

I'm not sure my reply went through, so here it goes again :) I am going to work in life insurance. So it should be exciting! Thanks for writing.

-Matt

Anonymous said...

it's really not a big deal.
Life is simple, with some comes and some leaves.
It's still running...